Bruce Banner here... and oh, joy, today it's a Hulk board game guest-starring the Fantastic Four, but it's not even the proper Fantastic Four! Oh, nooooo... it has to be with that stupid Herbie robot, not the Torch! And of course, I'm not even a part of the game, it's the Hulk! No "Bruce Banner" games out there, no sir-ree!
And where's the money from all this licensing? Do I see a penny of it? Do I get checks that I can spend on equipment to cure me? Noooo... the Hulk gets stashes of canned beans in payment, if the stupid green lummox remembers where they're kept for him! Have you ever woken up in a cave after a seven foot tall green monster has been eating beans for 12 hours? It doesn't smell pretty, I'll tell you!
Aaarrgh... losing temper... pulse pounding... got to... get out of here...
Uh... Jon writing now... Bruce just burst out of my home office and into the back yard. Should he really have taken the time to type all that before he left?
Uh, Bruce Banner here... I'm not quite sure how I ended up back here again. Something must have happened to get the Hulk calmed down enough so I could change back to me again. So, until the next time I get angry, I suppose I'll have to fill in here.
So today's item is this Hulk chamber toy, which looks to me like it's designed to play out the transformation from myself to the Hulk. It does seem to avoid the whole "Don't get me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" thing, doesn't it?
Doc Samson here again... taking another day off. Other psychologists take a day off to golf, but I'm here filling in for the Hulk on the Hulk's blog. I wonder how Jon got the Hulk to agree to do this? But I digress.
I'm sorry, but this bubble machine is the most riduculous thing I've ever seen. Were there any Hulk toys as outright silly as this? Let me look at the archives... hmmm... boomerang gun, utility belt, wallet... wow, there was some seriously stupid Hulk products, weren't there?
No wonder the Hulk's been having anger management issues lately.
Hey, it's Rick Jones again... Doc Samson says he won't come by to fill in because his schedule's way too full. Apparently, the stuff that's been happing in the current Marvel comics is really messing with the minds of all the super-heroes there, and there's a lot of therapy needed!
Man, I'm glad I'm from before all that stuff started happening. I wonder if I can warn my future self about any of it? What? Oh, I see... apparently, I'm from a Bronze Age reality of sorts that won't get into that, so I'm safe.
Let's see, now... what have we got here? A Hulk wallet? Well, I suppose if you're a Hulk fan, you need a place to put your money in. I can just imagine what my buddy the Hulk would say about this, though... "Hulk does not need place to keep money, Hulk does not understand money!"
Hey, everyone! Rick Jones here, eternal sidekick and generally coolest guy in the Marvel Universe who doesn't wear a costume! Since my pal the Hulk is currently occupied, and She-Hulk's trying to help de-occupy him (and Jon, the owner of this blog, can't get anyone else to fill in, I'd bet), I'll be doing the talking for a day or two!
So, what the heck is this thing? A Vu-Writer? A pen with a little viewer inside of it? Did anybody really think this would be a sellable idea? It's got to be one of the most ridiculous Hulk toys they ever made!
What's that, Jon? Oh, no, I didn't hear about the utility belt before. Okay, second most ridiculous Hulk toy, then. What, sandals? Seriously?
Never mind... I wonder if I can get anyone else to fill in until my buddy chills out!
She-Hulk here again, filling in for my absent cousin. Today's item on the Hulk Blog is this View-Master set, which looks like it features my cousin battling it out with the Absorbing Man. I guess that Thor wasn't available for that fight?
Oh, excuse me a second. My Avengers communicator is beeping.
Oh, crap... looks like Bruce has somehow found a building with a sign that looks enough like the Remco logo that he thinks it is Remco, and he's causing some havoc. I'll have to go help the Avengers deal with this.
I told Doc Samson that just letting him vent his rage wouldn't help...
Hello, Jennifer Walters, AKA the Sensational She-Hulk here today! I'm filling in because my cousin's on a bit of a rampage, trying to find whoever thought up the ridiculous utility belt toy. One problem with the Hulk, you know, is that he tends to think with his muscles! Now, I would've tried to talk him into some kind of legal action against the manufacturer, but I don't see that the Remco company is around these days -- besides, that would've been too long ago by now to sue, and the Hulk thinks money is only good enough for buying beans with.
Anyway, today's featured Hulk item is a 1978 plastic figure made by Vic Toys. I can't say it's a very good likeness, though... I mean, look at the size of that head? Even the card art shows that the Hulk's head isn't that big compared to his body!
HULK ALREADY TALKED ABOUT STUPID HULK BELT! HULK DOES NOT USE UTILITY BELT LIKE POINTY-EARS MAN! HULK MUST SMASH SOMETHING TO WORK OUT HULK'S FRUSTRATION ISSUES!
Huh. The Hulk just jumped away. "Puny Jon" here... Greenskin gets pretty worked up about the utility belt toy. Hopefully he'll be back tomorrow for the next day's post. If not, maybe I can get Doc Samson or the She-Hulk to come by?
I have been a Navy journalist, word processor, graphic designer, medical assisting student, cook, and truck driver, and am currently an eBay seller as well as an employee at a big retail store. I have been and always will be into comics, sf, tv, cartoons, monsters, oldies rock, and lots of other stuff.
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