Thursday, December 31, 2009

Hulk Portfolio!

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Hulk likes paintings of Hulk fighting. Reminds Hulk of winning fights.

Hulk always wins.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hulk Patch!

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Hulk thinks he would like Hulk patch more if it wasn't same picture of Hulk that Hulk sees all the time.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Hulk Model!

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Hulk likes Hulk model kit... not as much as Hulk likes older Aurora kit, but Hulk likes this one just fine.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Vending Machine Mini-Comics!

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Hulk does not like mini-comics... pictures are too small for Hulk to see, and Hulk's fingers can not turn pages easy.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Bootleg Hulks!

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Hulk thinks that bootleg Hulk action figures from Mexico look funny, like they were figures of Lou Ferrigno, who played Hulk on TV, and not of real Hulk!

Hulk still not happy about bootleg items, even if they are funny!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Magnets!

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Hulk likes Hulk magnets... if Hulk had refrigerator, Hulk would definitely put Hulk magnets on it!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

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Hulk wishes you Merry Christmas! Hulk does not know why, because Santa never brings Hulk what Hulk wants most of all!

If Hulk finds Santa, Hulk will get what Hulk wants or Hulk will have to smash Santa!

Puny Jon says Santa brings presents to children? Hulk did not know that. Hulk is not child, so Hulk does not get presents from Santa. Hulk will not smash after all.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

1970s Iron On!

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Hulk still wants to know why same Hulk pictures are used all of the time!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Hot Wheels Scene Machines!

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Hulk does not like Scene Machine cars... Hulk can never remember which eye to close when trying to look at pictures in cars. Pictures are too small for Hulk anyway.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Herohead Game!

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Hulk is starting to get creeped out by all the Hulk toys that just have Hulk's head.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Hulk Hauler Model Kit!

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Hulk is confused... is model truck supposed to be truck driven by Hulk, or is truck supposed to be driven by friend of Hulk? Hulk is not sure if this is stupid toy or not.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

1977 Hulk Glass!

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Hulk still thinks that the same Hulk pictures get used too much on Hulk merchandise.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

French Glider Toy!

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Hulk thinks French people must be stupid to make Hulk glider toy! When does Hulk fly airplane? Airplanes are used by soldiers who always hunt Hulk!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Flying Fist Shooter!

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Hulk thinks this stupid toy was attempt to sell more stupid Bug-Man web-shooter toys in different color!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Flashlight!

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Hulk is back again! Hulk tired of puny Banner writing blog entries! Hulk likes blogging, even if Hulk has to get puny Jon to type because Hulk's fingers are too big and Hulk can not spell good!

Hulk is looking at stupid Hulk flashlight picture! Stupid Hulk flashlight is too skinny!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Hulk and Fantastic Four Game!

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Bruce Banner here... and oh, joy, today it's a Hulk board game guest-starring the Fantastic Four, but it's not even the proper Fantastic Four! Oh, nooooo... it has to be with that stupid Herbie robot, not the Torch! And of course, I'm not even a part of the game, it's the Hulk! No "Bruce Banner" games out there, no sir-ree!

And where's the money from all this licensing? Do I see a penny of it? Do I get checks that I can spend on equipment to cure me? Noooo... the Hulk gets stashes of canned beans in payment, if the stupid green lummox remembers where they're kept for him! Have you ever woken up in a cave after a seven foot tall green monster has been eating beans for 12 hours? It doesn't smell pretty, I'll tell you!

Aaarrgh... losing temper... pulse pounding... got to... get out of here...




Uh... Jon writing now... Bruce just burst out of my home office and into the back yard. Should he really have taken the time to type all that before he left?

I suppose the Hulk will be back tomorrow.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Hulk Desk Light!

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Bruce here yet again... enjoying three days in a row of being me. Of course, I'd prefer it if I was being me somewhere I could work on a cure, but...

So today's Hulk item is a Hulk desk lamp. Not a bad likeness, even if the lamp portion looks like some kind of alien ray gun!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Hulk Rub and Play Set!

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Bruce Banner here again... staying calm, I promise! So today's toy on the Hulk blog is kind of a colorforms combined with playset thing. That's a nice idea, get the kids to create their own toys!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Hulk Chamber!

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Uh, Bruce Banner here... I'm not quite sure how I ended up back here again. Something must have happened to get the Hulk calmed down enough so I could change back to me again. So, until the next time I get angry, I suppose I'll have to fill in here.

So today's item is this Hulk chamber toy, which looks to me like it's designed to play out the transformation from myself to the Hulk. It does seem to avoid the whole "Don't get me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" thing, doesn't it?

Friday, December 11, 2009

Bubble Machine!

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Doc Samson here again... taking another day off. Other psychologists take a day off to golf, but I'm here filling in for the Hulk on the Hulk's blog. I wonder how Jon got the Hulk to agree to do this? But I digress.

I'm sorry, but this bubble machine is the most riduculous thing I've ever seen. Were there any Hulk toys as outright silly as this? Let me look at the archives... hmmm... boomerang gun, utility belt, wallet... wow, there was some seriously stupid Hulk products, weren't there?

No wonder the Hulk's been having anger management issues lately.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Bracelet!

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Dr. Leonard Samson here. I had to take a break from my patients, and filling in for the Hulk on the Hulk's blog is as good an excuse as any, I suppose.

So, what's the idea here? Look at a picture of Hulk merchandise and comment on it? Well, this Hulk bracelet's a nice piece of jewelry... but I can't imagine too many girls wanting to wear it!

Whether or not to pursue getting Christian Counseling Degrees is probably the last thing on the Hulk's mind as he's rampaging through a city.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Italian Boomerang Gun!

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Hmm... well, the Hulk showed up for today's blog entry, but as soon as he saw the picture, he muttered something about smashing Samson and took off.

This Italian toy is pretty ridiculous, I'll admit that... a boomerang gun? I could see it as a Batman toy, but a Hulk toy?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

1975 Book Cover!

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Hulk is back... Hulk took day off for anger management with stupid Samson. Hulk had to fight stupid Samson, but Hulk feels better now.

Hulk likes book cover... book cover has nice pictures of Hulk.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Binoculars Set!

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The Hulk didn't show up for today's blog entry. Probably a good thing, because this binoculars set would've really set him off!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

AHI Hulk Truck!

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HULK DOES NOT DRIVE TRUCK! HULK JUMPS! WHEN WILL STUPID HUMANS STOP MAKING STUPID TOYS WITH HULK?!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

AHI Parachutist!

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HULK DOES NOT USE PARACHUTE! HULK JUMPS!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Speed Boat!

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Hulk is trying not to get angry at stupid toys, like stupid Hulk speed boat! Hulk is tired of seeing stupid toys that have Hulk driving stupid vehicles that Hulk does not drive!

Hulk is getting angry anyway! Hulk does not drive boats!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Activity Box!

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If Hulk knew how to write, Hulk might like puzzle books more.

Banner would like puzzle books. Banner likes to think. Hulk is not Banner. Hulk does not like to think. Thinking hurts Hulk's head.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Hulk Action Box!

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Hulk thinks this is another stupid toy... spin wheel and watch Hulk move around, like Hulk is stupid puppet for puny humans to amuse themselves with?

Hulk is trying not to get angry about this stupid toy. Hulk knows stupid toys are for children, and children do not always think if toys make sense or not.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Yo-Yo!

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Hulk is back on Hulk Blog! Hulk is calmer now, and Hulk will not go off on another rampage, no matter how stupid toys are.

Today's stupid toy is Hulk yo-yo. Hulk does not like yo-yos because Hulk is not that coordinated. Besides, Hulk's stomach feels funny when he watches picture of Hulk spinning in circles.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Wallet!

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Hey, it's Rick Jones again... Doc Samson says he won't come by to fill in because his schedule's way too full. Apparently, the stuff that's been happing in the current Marvel comics is really messing with the minds of all the super-heroes there, and there's a lot of therapy needed!

Man, I'm glad I'm from before all that stuff started happening. I wonder if I can warn my future self about any of it? What? Oh, I see... apparently, I'm from a Bronze Age reality of sorts that won't get into that, so I'm safe.

Let's see, now... what have we got here? A Hulk wallet? Well, I suppose if you're a Hulk fan, you need a place to put your money in. I can just imagine what my buddy the Hulk would say about this, though... "Hulk does not need place to keep money, Hulk does not understand money!"

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Vu-Writer!

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Hey, everyone! Rick Jones here, eternal sidekick and generally coolest guy in the Marvel Universe who doesn't wear a costume! Since my pal the Hulk is currently occupied, and She-Hulk's trying to help de-occupy him (and Jon, the owner of this blog, can't get anyone else to fill in, I'd bet), I'll be doing the talking for a day or two!

So, what the heck is this thing? A Vu-Writer? A pen with a little viewer inside of it? Did anybody really think this would be a sellable idea? It's got to be one of the most ridiculous Hulk toys they ever made!

What's that, Jon? Oh, no, I didn't hear about the utility belt before. Okay, second most ridiculous Hulk toy, then. What, sandals? Seriously?

Never mind... I wonder if I can get anyone else to fill in until my buddy chills out!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

View-Master!

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She-Hulk here again, filling in for my absent cousin. Today's item on the Hulk Blog is this View-Master set, which looks like it features my cousin battling it out with the Absorbing Man. I guess that Thor wasn't available for that fight?

Oh, excuse me a second. My Avengers communicator is beeping.

Oh, crap... looks like Bruce has somehow found a building with a sign that looks enough like the Remco logo that he thinks it is Remco, and he's causing some havoc. I'll have to go help the Avengers deal with this.

I told Doc Samson that just letting him vent his rage wouldn't help...

Friday, November 27, 2009

Vics 1978 Figure!

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Hello, Jennifer Walters, AKA the Sensational She-Hulk here today! I'm filling in because my cousin's on a bit of a rampage, trying to find whoever thought up the ridiculous utility belt toy. One problem with the Hulk, you know, is that he tends to think with his muscles! Now, I would've tried to talk him into some kind of legal action against the manufacturer, but I don't see that the Remco company is around these days -- besides, that would've been too long ago by now to sue, and the Hulk thinks money is only good enough for buying beans with.

Anyway, today's featured Hulk item is a 1978 plastic figure made by Vic Toys. I can't say it's a very good likeness, though... I mean, look at the size of that head? Even the card art shows that the Hulk's head isn't that big compared to his body!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Hulk Utility Belt!

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HULK ALREADY TALKED ABOUT STUPID HULK BELT! HULK DOES NOT USE UTILITY BELT LIKE POINTY-EARS MAN! HULK MUST SMASH SOMETHING TO WORK OUT HULK'S FRUSTRATION ISSUES!






Huh. The Hulk just jumped away. "Puny Jon" here... Greenskin gets pretty worked up about the utility belt toy. Hopefully he'll be back tomorrow for the next day's post. If not, maybe I can get Doc Samson or the She-Hulk to come by?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Trash Can and TV Tray!

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Hulk just talked about trash can yesterday!

Oh, Hulk was just told picture was of someone else's trash can for sale that looked like first one, and that Hulk should talk about TV tray.

Hulk does not watch TV... except when Hulk's tv show is on.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Trash Can!

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Hulk thinks this trash can looks good. Hulk likes it.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Toy Chest!

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Hulk does not understand this toy chest... children do not store their toys in Hulk's body!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sunglasses!

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Hulk thinks this is another stupid idea. Hulk does not wear sunglasses!

And if Hulk did, they would not be so bad that glass would fall out of frames!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Stick Pony!

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Hulk thinks this is another stupid toy. Stick with Hulk's head on it for children to pretend Hulk is pony? Hulk thinks it looks like someone cut off Hulk's head!

Hulk will have to smash stupid human who thought of this toy.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Drawings!

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Hulk does not think this joke is funny. Of course Hulk's pans will not fit puny Banner!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Slide Puzzle!

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Hulk does not like slide puzzles. Hulk's fingers are too big to move pieces, and Hulk breaks puzzles. When Hulk sees pieces of Hulk on ground, Hulk gets sad.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sandals from 1979!

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Hulk thinks these are stupid. Hulk does not wear sandals or any shoes!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hulk Ring!

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Hulk would like Hulk ring better if ring was big enough for Hulk's fingers.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Remco Hulk Muscles!

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Did not Hulk already talk about stupid balloon muscles that do not make children stronger?